My plan was to be a nurse, and God’s plan for me was to marry. While not opposed to one another, this simultaneous endeavor was impossible to pursue in a third-world country.

Years later, my next plan was to be a pastry chef. God’s plan was a series of unexpected yet beautiful events that, unbeknownst to me, were the training ground for His future plans.

I planned to ignore the requests to volunteer at religious classes, but I agreed because I was adding five kids to the mix. God’s plan was to create an opportunity for me to say yes to His plan, bringing me into full-time ministry.

My plans, I have discovered, are shortsighted, selfish, and opportunistic.

God’s plans appear on the surface to make no sense at all. They emerge crooked, convoluted, senseless, and sometimes painful because there is always a personal cost when we die to our plans.

I don’t always recognize His handiwork as His gentle and not-so-gentle sculpting grapples with my rough edges. Only He knows what is needed to loosen knots and sever attachments, which hold me back from soaring.

What gets my attention fastest is the sometimes painful process that accompanies removing harmful habits.

Does the marble question why the sculptor’s chisel cuts so deeply as it reveals the beauty hidden within? Or the grand oak tree as it is chopped down, sliced, sanded, and formed into boards that shelter so many?

Are we not more precious to our Heavenly Father than a stone or a tree?

Why me? We cry out.

Because I love you too much to leave you behind, He whispers.

Believe me, I wasn’t begging for more every time I was in an ambulance heading to the ICU. My immediate response wasn’t. “Oh goodie! God is making me into a saint.”  

No. That would come much later, but not right away.

Why would a good God take His children on paths unknown rather than just answer their prayers?

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways—oracle of the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

Is 55:8-9

Our God is not like us—fickle, driven by feelings, and shortsighted. He is Father, Son, and Spirit—Lord of Heaven and Earth. He is love and cannot do anything contrary to love and truth. He is good. Everything He does is for our good.

This is hard to understand for our capricious minds, especially from our perspective. We cannot see what God sees or know what He knows. The veil between us hides the ultimate benefits. We cannot readily observe the fruit that may come from unanswered prayers or continued suffering.

We demand results and proof. We want to comprehend how something unrelenting could positively impact someone or something else. How could my pain somehow be another’s gain and produce good?

We are simply asked to trust and surrender because God does not owe us answers.

“Yet just as from the heavens the rain and snow come down and do not return there till they have watered the earth, making it fertile and fruitful, giving seed to the one who sows and bread to the one who eats, so shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but shall do what pleases me, achieving the end for which I sent it.”

Is 55:10-11

His way is the highway that leads to bliss and eternal reward, while our way can lead to brokenness, pain, and failure. It might be a wild ride filled with temporary pleasures, but what goes up will eventually come down.

Life without God is no life at all.

My plans did not have an eternal trajectory. God’s permissive will, in honoring my freedom, still offered me alternatives to continue to choose Him over myself.

God made straight my crooked paths.

Giving God access to what little I have gives him my everything to amplify into more. By cooperating with His grace, my tiny little yes permitted God to work through and with me. It allowed me to participate in His saving actions. By teaching, writing, and working in collaboration with God, I gain the privilege to speak the Gospel anew through the lens of my experiences.

The baptized are gifted and invited to share their talents for His good purposes. No one is left empty-handed. We receive so much more than we give. I can tell you firsthand that it has been my honor to work beside so many faithful Catholics in our collective yes to God, doing what He asks us to do through our own giftedness.

Reflecting on my yes, given so many decades ago, I am utterly amazed at what He accomplished through me. We taught, fed, prayed, and touched countless souls.

When I use my God-given gifts, the task is easy and the burden lighter. To my benefit, it produced passion and purpose, joy and energy, and the confirmation that with God, anything is possible—including miracles.

Because even I, the almost-nurse, kind of chef, all-in mommy, and Jane-of-all-trades, can make a significant difference.

The same is true for you.