by Barbara Lishko | May 8, 2025

I volunteered to take our young granddaughters to the park playground while their parents enjoyed the parish picnic. It was a short walk, and they gleefully ran ahead, scrambling up the highest contraption containing a slide. Knowing that I needed to be attentive and mindful of their whereabouts, I was laser-focused. The younger of the two ascended the steps as I watched and waited for her to zoom down the slide.  Her sister had already climbed back up. I called up to see if her little sister was still up there. “No, she’s not here.” My heart raced like the starting gun had just fired. I conducted my search of the area. How could I have missed her? I was standing right there. The fear of knowing that some people hang out at parks hoping to find lost kids, pulsed through my mind. I queried the parents around me. No one had seen her come down. Freaking out internally, I called my husband to join the search.

 My stomach was ready to lurch out its contents when I received a text stating that she had returned to her parents.

Had she deployed a cloaking device?    

As a seasoned mom and now grandmother, there is nothing which immediately strikes terror like a lost child. Even dear Mother Mary was filled with anxiety when she could not locate the boy Jesus.

Sometimes, our response to scary situations out of our control is to hang on tighter. However, like sand in our hands, the tighter we squeeze, the more it slips out.

I remember telling our teens as they exited the house at all hours, “Be safe!” It was another way of saying I loved them and wanted them back in one piece. They loathed me telling them this. “Don’t you trust me?” Seriously? No.

There were some crazy years when they misplaced their minds.

Some mothers tend to go overboard trying to protect their children from all that can harm them, both real and imagined.

But we can’t. Smothering is not the solution.

On the flip side, fathers tend to give their children ample room to grow, which can be equally troublesome at times. Years ago, I returned from a short shopping trip and asked my husband where the kids were. “I don’t know.” When are they coming home? Same answer. I rest my case. Working together as parents means understanding that children need both of us operating in unity for their benefit. Dads aren’t moms and moms aren’t dads. Each brings a particular gift to parenting.

Over the last few years, I have observed a trend of moms hovering over their children, anticipating any possible situation that would or could cause them distress and immediately eliminating it. I recognize it’s done in love. However, it is not necessarily the best thing for the child. More specifically, it doesn’t prepare them for real life outside the home, where everyone else will treat them like nobody special and not your cuddly cutie pie.

I remember reading that our job as parents is less about protecting our kids from the world and more about preparing them. When we do this, we equip them with an awareness that they can handle situations, thus empowering them. Important skills like cooperation, collaboration, patience, teamwork, and how to stand up for themselves happen with real-time experiences. Every time we save them from these important lessons; we hinder them and delay maturity.

Catholic mothers and fathers must provide their children with beneficial, timeless lessons from Scripture and Tradition. Why? Because we are made for heaven, and this life is only a miniscule part of the journey.

Indispensable critical life teachings are found in Scripture.

The lessons found therein are most effective when modeled and practiced in the home through an active family faith and prayer life. We cannot be everywhere they are or present in each difficult situation, but God can and is. In giving them God, we give them a most powerful Trinitarian weapon to defeat evil. A Father who loves them regardless. Christ Jesus, who demonstrated authentic love, and gave His life so they could inherit paradise and the Spirit who sanctifies and provides infinite gifts.

We may live in this world, but we are not of this world. Nor are we constrained by unkind judgements, rejection, bad days, or break-ups. These do not define us. They are simply lessons that should reinforce the necessity for our dependence on God’s unconditional, infinite love.

Help is a prayer away, and His love is guaranteed. Interior peace comes from this knowledge; no one can ever take it from us.

It might be a raging storm outside, but that changes nothing in our supreme value to God. I am not my own. We were purchased by the Blood of Jesus, and our most challenging day is but dust compared to the glory of heaven. Your children need to know and understand this. It is a game changer when it comes to navigating the tough things in life.

Moms, the best thing we can do is avoid smothering them and instead train them for battle. Fear is the weapon used by evil. Trusting God is the supreme weapon that destroys lies and counterfeits. Practice it yourself. Let anxiety be eradicated by total trust in God. Surrender your kids to His watchful care, and He will take care of everything, especially His beloved children.

The graces of My mercy are drawn by means of one vessel only, and that is — trust.

The more a soul trusts, the more it will receive. 

(Faustina’s Diary,1578)

May you be blessed in your vocation as mother. Know that your love and best efforts are enough, give everything else over to God and have a joyful, fun Mother’s Day. They grow up fast and are enriched more than you know by all the good efforts you make.