Today was an unexpected joy. A dear friend was celebrating her birthday and had invited me to tag along with her sisters for a spa day.
I need no excuse for a spa day, and was happy to join them. We were all around the same age and had an uncanny number of similar experiences, so conversation flowed with lots of laughter.
You never know how much you need warm oil massaged into your back until it happens. I needed this.
This respite was a welcome friend. During my massage, I just soaked up all that relaxation in silence. When it came time for my facial, the anesthetist and I chatted. She was a mom of two young children, and shared some concerning things that they were learning in school. She was considering homeschooling, something she thought she would never do. My inner mom leapt at the chance to share some of my experience, and she was eager to listen.
How often do you have a captive audience that can’t walk away because she has to get all the gunk off your face first?
Moms are usually open to talking to other moms who have walked the walk before them. They appreciate reassurance about the good work they are doing in their families. It brought me back a couple of decades as I shared some of my own mom moments.
I was first called a “fun sucker” by my youngest daughter, who was in high school and using it in reference to my innate ability to suck all the fun out of her social life—poor baby. I have since been called that name on more occasions than I can count. Eventually, she resorted to making a sucking sound in my direction, saving her the exhausting effort of any verbal communication.
Recalling this memory brings a smile to my face now, but that wasn’t the emotion I was feeling back then. By the grace of God and countless prayers, she and her siblings all turned out well! It was an exhausting journey for all of us as they figured out who they were and what was most important. Maintaining my fun-sucker responsibilities kept them safe, often from themselves, so it was worth it.
Being a parent is one of the most challenging jobs on the planet, but one that impacts generations, and it can be hard, feeling like the only one sucking all the fun out of the room.
Pick up your toys.
Stop locking your sister in the closet.
No playing, homework time.
I was only doing what a parent is supposed to do: be a parent. My kids had plenty of friends, and the last thing they wanted was me tagging along, trying to be a cool mom
What every child needs is a mother and father to lovingly set limits for their own good, teaching them social skills, manners, and critical life skills like sharing, patience, kindness, and love. Parents who are willing to let their children experience the consequences of their actions are vital to teaching right from wrong. As Catholic parents, we have another duty to foster a relationship with God by witnessing to it ourselves.
When I was a youth minister, I fondly remember the Sunday before religious education classes began. I would step up to the pulpit after mass and deliver my annual “Get your teens signed up for class” talk.
Sometimes we need reminders to do unpopular things as parents for the good of our children.
I encouraged parents to stand with complete trust in God and their parental authority, declaring with love, I signed you up for religious classes.
Then be prepared with answers for the onslaught of excuses why they shouldn’t have to go.
It’s boring, I don’t learn anything!
So is TV!
I already know all that Church stuff.
Awesome, help me understand the Trinity.
I have homework, do you want me to fail math?
Math or heaven, hmmm?
Being a parent myself and fighting the same battles gave me credibility, which I used to my advantage. My struggle was bigger, really. Who wants their own mom to be the youth minister? The job of doing what is best for them, of pointing them towards heaven, lies with their parents.
Jesus Christ is excellent news; He is the answer to all they need and ultimately desire. We must first know Jesus Christ. From this relationship flows a deep conviction to speak the truth to our children.
At the end of my facial, I reminded my anesthetist to pray for her children. God will be there with them in every moment, especially when they can’t be. Knowing they are loved unconditionally matters especially in a world that discards them so easily.
So “fun suckers” unite and fight the good fight. We need authentic witnesses of parenthood, strong, faithful marriages, and authentic living witnesses of Catholicism in all its beauty to a generation lost and searching “in all the wrong places.”
Sticks and stones may break our bones, but name-calling is a far cry from being martyred.
I take honor in giving the gift of “fun sucker” to you. Since becoming a mom I have sadly earned the name much earlier than you did. Though I have a feeling it was their father that taught them the name. Being a parent is hard with 3 littles. I consistently feel like I’m behind, ahead, or in the wrong lane. But thank God, literally, for always being with them when we are not. God doesn’t say hover and never leave their side but instead trust me. I gave them to you I will help you through. Great article!!