I sat there in the first pew staring at the nativity scene before me. What does one give the King of Kings that he doesn’t already have?

Oh that’s easy, said the voice in my head. Give him yourself, your love, your surrender.

I already have, piped another voice in my head. 

The voices in my head, have opinions on everything and nothing at all. No sweet silence for me up there.

I attempted to hush the noise and sit quietly. From somewhere deep inside came the chorus of a long forgotten tune.

Oh come on!

I’m fairly sure most men do not deal with the constant input of past, present, and never happened, in their brains- like women do. Our minds rarely rest. There’s ongoing debates, side bar conversations, mutterings, gossip sessions, and self-effacing monologues that never cease. A man wouldn’t last an hour in our heads without running down the hall screaming, make them stop!

But, I digress.

Thoughts still plague me regarding the twenty-three years I worked. I gave it my all; praying, teaching, creating retreats and much more. I honestly cared about each person or couple that came my way.

Was there any fruit? Did I make an impact at all?

It was then that the epiphany emerged; the gift only I could give to the King. Everything. The hours, efforts, laughter and tears. The frustrations, the unmet expectations, and the times I assumed my efforts were insufficient and unworthy of him.

I just laid it all there at his tiny feet in the manger. The good, the messy, the disappointing. I gave it my best Jesus. I said yes when you called. That was all you asked of me. Nothing more. You did all the heavy lifting and continue to work in their hearts. That task was never mine.

As I placed this gift of myself, I felt an unexpected joy wash over me. I smiled knowing it was the best gift I could give and somehow, it pleased him. By letting go of my expectations, and the tiny seeds I sowed, he would grow forests.

What gift will you bring to the King?