When asked about our recent vacation in Kauai, I enthusiastically replied, “It was really nice.”  That same daughter later inquired about a dessert she had made: “That’s nice; I like it.”

Maahmum!!! Quit saying nice! Use other words.

She overheard me using that same four-letter word several other times throughout the day. Each infraction was immediately followed by an unapproving face and grunt.

I’m glad she called me out on this; it entices me to work harder on zeroing in on the appropriate word.

The first step I need to take requires thinking before opening my mouth and letting any old words burst from my lips. No doubt I have work to do. As a self-proclaimed lover of words, I’m striving to grow in this area.

This occasion reminds me of a homily given by our now-retired Bishop Thomas Olmsted on the word nice. I recall being surprised at the definition he gave. Bishop stated that the English word “nice” was derived from the Latin root: “nescius, nescire” which meant “to be ignorant.”

I was curious and dug deeper, only to discover an article written by Monsignor Charles Pope and republished in Spiritualdirection.com titled “The Not-So-Nice Origins and Meanings of the Word Nice.”

Curiously, the word nice morphed from meaning ignoramus
to thoughtful and pleasant.

Msgr. Pope expertly outlines how the word “nice” has been altered over the centuries. It is an enlightening read. Understanding the subtle trap we can fall into without even knowing is essential. He suggests that currently, “it is used in a reductionist manner that seeks to simplify the entire moral life to be nice. This is akin to being harmless, pretending that things are great even when they’re not.”

My overuse of the word was a banal, non-committal descriptor devoid of meaning or depth. The new nice is more insidious because it hides behind the fear of confrontation, silently yielding to any ideology in the name of niceness. It’s fluffy and appears non- judgmentally harmless.

Monsignor Pope has a point worth considering. At the time of his article in 2020, we were knee-deep in the mire of the pandemic. Today, we are still held hostage, but differently, by the illusory shelter this word provides. We cowardly choose to be neither hot nor cold, simply lukewarm passive blobs afraid to make waves, pretending to play nicely by going along to get along. Nice means we can acquiesce to a fictional reality and disregard the truth, goodness, and beauty of God’s design for humanity.

Jesus never asked us to be nice.

Rather, kindness is what is necessary and one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:22-23). The Catholic dictionary states that kindness is “the quality of understanding sympathy and concern for those in trouble or need. It is shown in affability of speech, generosity of conduct, and forgiveness of injuries sustained”.

Kindness is listening and responding in love. We are not here to judge nor condemn; that’s God’s job. But it doesn’t mean we are “nice” doormats either. We are called to share the truth in a spirit of love at the proper time.

Remember we are living in a post-Christian modern era, many people are lost spiritually and don’t even know it. As Catholic Christians, our living witnesses are of critical importance. Are we approachable? Have we fashioned a bridge that others can cross to share their questions and burdens, or are we inaccessible as we look down from our inflated view of our own holiness?

We are commanded to love one another.

“I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35

The board of life is ever-changing. The days of easy wins are over, and we now must work harder at winning souls. Christ depends on our active participation and assistance. There are pitfalls, twists, and turns to avoid as we navigate which move to make. The rules are ever-changing and playing nice wastes a turn. Progress happens when we, as disciples, practice kindness, love, and virtue. It is through these time-tested moves that we win souls for Christ.

We cannot afford to be passive. We must play to win.