Identifying one of my persistent faults over time has exposed my habit of expectations. I place them on myself, other people, and even God-foolish me. Like you, I have had many pleasant and unfortunate unplanned events in my life. Over the years with various jobs, I’ve experienced working and interacting with others who fell short of what I expected of them, and I am aware, too, that I was not what they had hoped for either.

Why do we place expectations on circumstances and people? It often only leads to disappointment and unnecessary stress. My failure to trust that God has every aspect covered precisely as he sees fit leaves my expecting (there’s that word) as a futile waste of time. One would think I should have absorbed this lesson decades ago, but sadly, I did not. Apparently, I am a slow learner.

Honestly, it’s only gotten worse with age. As fellow humans sharing the same planet, expecting kindness, mutual respect, courtesy, and general goodwill toward our fellow man should not be unusual. Or is that just something old people like me, think? 

Fr. Mike Schmitz recently finished a series of homilies on the book by Fr. Walter Ciszek entitled, “He Leadeth Me.” It is a spiritual classic by an American-born Jesuit Priest whose mission brought him to Russia in 1939. In 1941, he was accused of being a Vatican spy and sentenced to five years of isolation and another fifteen years in Siberia, doing hard labor. It is an incredible story of faith under the worst conditions. Reading the book last year and having the additional benefit of these homilies has developed my understanding of the necessity of abandoning oneself to God’s will in all circumstances. Father Mike poses the question, “What happens when reality butts up against our expectations?” Fr. Ciszek, in volunteering to do missionary work in Russia, never expected things would turn out so differently from what he had dreamed of or hoped for. 

His story is not only inspirational but demonstrates, through his experiences, how God works on us in any situation to refine and prove us, (Wis 3:6). Like Fr. Walter, we can have expectations and hopes for the life that lies before us. However, when we’re broadsided by a different reality, the valuable lesson is learning to let go and trust by abandoning ourselves to God’s plan.

I can admonish myself for failed expectations, bemoaning the fact it wasn’t “what I planned.” I can get caught up in the lie that something must be wrong when life changes and appears off-course according to my map. We must be careful with that kind of thinking. There is an excellent song by Sarah Kroger called The Detour. The lyrics are a beautiful reminder to dare to believe that we are precisely where we are supposed to be. “When the way is long and slow, I will trust; the detour is the road.”

Fr. Ciszek’s experience teaches us that God leads us in unexpected ways, and often, what we call a detour is, in fact, precisely the road God wants us on. We sometimes need to experience the agony of the truth that we aren’t self-sufficient. We can rely so completely on ourselves and our abilities that we leave no room for God’s plans or assistance.

Fr. Ciszek writes, “God finally gave me the greatest gift of all by sending me a trial I could not bear by my own power.” I, too, have had trials that take me to the edge of what I humanly could withstand. They were not detours to avoid, but rather painful, priceless lessons to learn. God knew exactly what He was doing for my good, and I was where I was by His design. 

God does not ask the impossible of us. Alone, we will fail, and sometimes those are the hardest lessons of all. God will allow experiences in our life that will empty us of ourselves so that we learn the lessons we would not learn otherwise. Fr. Mike wraps up the series by saying, “The simple secret is, I do not need to find God’s will in this moment and in these circumstances, this moment and these circumstances ARE God’s will for me. It’s right in front of me- rest, labor, suffering; this person is God’s will for me. Some things can seem so small, we can’t waste them- there are no insignificant moments. I have a choice, to meet these things with the confidence that God is with me and will not abandon me or I can become bitter.”

As we enter the holiest week of the year, realize God’s will for you in every moment of your day, (even in traffic:-). We grow in trust by practicing trust in all circumstances. Practice surrendering by letting go of matters big and small. Your surrender lets God’s power and light into the darkness. Practice gratitude to Him, who gives you everything. Constantly thank him for every blessing, no matter how miniscule. No effort is insignificant.

Even the irritating driver or co-worker is there from God.

No event in your life is coincidental. The Master of our Soul has prepared for us a multitude of ways to grow closer to him and attain the holiness necessary for Paradise. 

Who else loves you so much as to custom-detail your day using various means specifically designed for you? Everything comes from his hands. Believe it and stop fighting it.

Let no opportunity escape you.