Today is the feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. The perfect family that sets the bar high, yet attainable for us regular folks, too.

There were days when it felt like nothing was going right. Having never been a mother before, each day was a new adventure. Our kids were new to humanity and curiosity, followed by cause and effect, which led to trying new things and testing the limits.

Especially my sanity.

Nothing in the world brought me more joy than our five wild and crazy kiddos. Nothing in the world gave me more opportunities to grow in holiness, either. It was a win/ win.

Back in the day, when they were young and full of energy, learning the family rules that produced good children and citizens was stressed. Our family also needed to understand and live by God’s law of love and by His primacy in our lives. God first. It meant we prayed together and attended weekly Mass.

We said the Rosary a lot in the car, because we were always on the move.

Hey, we’re saying the rosary when we get to the freeway.

Agghhh! The girls are pretending to be asleep!

Wake um up!

Five kids meant each one led a decade. The youngest would make up various mysteries to aggravate her brothers.
It worked every time.

The fourth Joyful Mystery, Jesus gets a puppy.

Maahhhmmm! She’s doing it on purpose!

Mass, when dad was away at work, was another way for me to grow, specifically in virtues like charity, and fortitude; and to lean into my confirmation gifts of patience, humility, and understanding.

How good is our God, so many opportunities to make saints out of parents, who are trying to make saints out of their children.

I’ve been there, young parents, I know what you are going through, and I commend you for bringing your children to Mass. Yeah, it’s a circus in the pew, flying toys, disappearing shoes, and a ventriloquist act complete with the king of threats—no donut, if you don’t behave.

Still, you gotta be willing to carry that cross so you can gleefully hand it back to them when they become parents.

Parenting is not for wimps nor the fainthearted. Changing the motherload is a job done solely out of love while holding your breath.

Did that come out of you? What did you eat?

Oh, that’s where my button went. I don’t need it back.

Enforcing the family rules is a lot like bumper bowling; it keeps them safely in their lanes. It’s not easy being the fun-sucker as a parent. I didn’t get called that because I was a pushover, but it comes with the territory. Honestly, it’s only for a moment in time in their lives.

Being the parents they need requires selfless love and courage. We are their only parents; they have plenty of friends. They need us to own the role —even when it is tough. I promise you there is a payoff down the road. Do it all in love and to the best of your ability. Give yourselves lots of grace when you mess up.

And pray for them every day—it isn’t easy for them either.

The most important aspect of our jobs, outside of their basic needs, is to teach them by our example, about God, a Father who loves them and will never love them less, a Son who gave His life for them, and the Spirit of love who animates their very lives.

We do a great disservice to them when we don’t give them God in their lives. God has entrusted them to us; they are only on loan. We cannot give what we ourselves do not possess.

Even if they seem to reject Jesus, our authentic, continued witness of a thriving faith will break through even the hardest hearts, if we are patient. I always remember this powerful quote in First Samuel,

“The LORD said: Listen to whatever the people say. You are not the one they are rejecting. They are rejecting me as their king.1 Sam 7:8

While their rejection hurts like a mother, giving them over to Christ’s Mother is a good solution. God loves the wayward ones all the way home and runs to meet them when they make a turn toward Him. Trust that.

It is never too late to have a holy family. Continue praying for the little sheep who may take a lifetime to wander back home. God knows the sorrow of your heart, listens to your prayers, and sees the efforts you make. It matters.

Most Holy Family, pray for all the families of the world and the little lost lambs, too.