“Give me a J, give me an E, give me a S-U-S, what’s that spell? Go-oooo Jesus!” That’s me at times, a real cheerleader for the Lord. As a mother and youth minister I have opportunities galore to get out the pom poms and give the rally cry for Christ. No, I don’t really use pom poms, but I am not above that if it might work for the cause.
Last Sunday I returned from back to back retreat weekends with teens. How the schedule lined up in that way was beyond my control and what the heck, I like to clump things together anyway. Point in fact; five kids under seven years of age. When you are in the zone, you might as well stay there as long as you can.
The first one was a nationally recognized retreat called Kairos and is based somewhat on Cursillo I am told. Because of its depth, we offer this retreat to juniors and seniors only. Their lives are sometimes stormy places at that age and being with like teens can show them they are not alone. My biggest efforts for this retreat are not in the administration of it, the months and months of planning, or the intensive collection of the materials needed for its success. No, my greatest effort is always as a cheerleading coach for the parents. “You can do it, yes you can, be the parent and get them to the van!” My reoccurring battle cry this year was, “Be the mom.” Over and over I would share with the teens and their parents, that I had never met a kid yet “that regretted going.” I think for some purgative purposes…God took that as a challenge and laid out for me one of the toughest battles I have fought to date. By the miraculous grace of God and Mother Mary, the confrontation was won and the outcome so far, was worth every tear and all the frustration that accompanied the skirmish. Seeing the happy face of this teen now, in dire contrast to the mêlée that preceded her first night of retreat, for me, makes doing what I do worth it.
The second retreat was for high school teens and over four-hundred and fifty teens congregated up north with snow on the ground and ice all over the paths. This collaborative effort on behalf of eighteen parishes to gather as the young church was phenomenal and inspiring. Youth ministers from all over the valley shared their unique gifts and talents. Mass, adoration, talks and small group time offered the teens an invitation to grow deeper in their faith and relationship with Christ. Despite the multiple trips to the hospital for broken bones from falls, our spirits and those of the teens could not be dampened. God’s presence in the joy and sharing were apparent. Many teens voiced their desire to remain in that space longer. All things good must come to an end, and such was this experience, as well.
So to bring my point full circle I wanted to remind parents that getting their teens involved in their Catholic faith is critical. Your job is to “parent them.” They only have you as parents and you have a job to do- do it. It is worth the battle to equip them for the fight of their lives, the fight for their eternal destiny. They need the tools that are in ready supply in youth programs, retreats, catechetical classes, mass etc.
After ten short years of ministry to our young people I can tell you the brokenness is rampant. They are hurting. Much of the pressure they feel is unnecessary. They are young once, society places unreasonable pressures on them to succeed and work toward college degrees while still in high school. To what end? Club sports and club activities offer them little downtime or rest in the off-season. Grades, friends, and trying to conform to irrational parental expectations and hopes are at times, the means that push them over the edge. They won’t let themselves off the hook, and they do not want to disappoint us. So they take care of mistakes on their own, without the wisdom of the ones they love, to the often regrettable choices that impact and wound their lives even further.
They need us, and we must start making time for nothing but “carefree timelessness” as Matthew Kelly calls it. Time to just be. To relax, to take off their masks and be our babies again without all the outside pressures to be who they are not. Do we set up opportunities to chat or just listen…on their schedules, not ours? Are we available to them, in nonjudgmental moments of attentive listening? Do we allow for quiet and calm in their lives or are they always running from one activity to another?
Some of them are ready to implode, and it is right under your very noses.
They are cutting and numbing their pain in countless self-destructive ways, in silence, wondering all the while if anyone even notices. Nothing else should matter but helping them to find joy in being who God created them to be and being that as best they can. With your love, support and attention, their lives will find clarity and real value.
Give them what they need the most, J-E-S-U-S! Live your faith out loud and show them that with Jesus on their team, they will come out winners.
+JMJ+
Hello. I just came upon your blog through an article in Catholic Exchange.
Good content. Thanks.
God bless you.
In Jesus through Mary,
Amy