On this Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, I pray for our country and all peoples of the Americas. Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. Amen.
Forty-five years have passed in what feels like an instant. Unforgettable are the wild adventures filled with unexpected twists and turns.
By today’s standards, we were young — I was twenty, and he was twenty-three. We would enter this lifelong promise without years of baggage and regrets.
We were naïve, hopeful, and convicted of being faithful to the promises made in our vows.
Was happily ever after possible, or just a fairy tale? Why should it be?
God had blessed our union and placed His Spirit and strength in our hearts that day. He would equip us to withstand the unknown curve balls, accidents, and tests we would encounter. Our lives were ahead of us, and we were excited, committed, and in love.
We still are.
On that day, forty-five years ago, God knew what lay ahead for us, both the challenges and rewards, in this lifelong journey as husband and wife.
God was always present to us regardless of whether we felt it. In every discouraging, confusing, exciting, or joyful moment– He was there and entirely available to us.
I am embarrassed that we failed to be as grateful as we should have been—a lesson we have since corrected. We are so immeasurably blessed. It is easy to receive God’s infinite kindness, love, and generosity in the good times, yet we fail miserably to realize His tender care in the trials.
Sadly, I relied on myself too much, so it was no surprise that I was often disappointed with the outcomes. It took me decades to learn to ask Mark for help.
We can be guilty of harboring unrealistic expectations for God, our spouse, or our marriage.
The problem with expectations is they only work out in our minds.
God is a gentle and infinitely patient Father, Savior, and Healer. We are His and belong to Him. Trust that He will take care of everything if we entrust it into His loving hands.
Mark and I needed time to realize this firsthand. His gentle and not-so-gentle lessons would be repeated until we understood them within our hearts. O Jesus, we surrender ourselves to you. Take care of everything.
And we are still learning.
Marriage is a saint-making machine conceived by God to grow spouses in holiness and virtue. We cannot do this on our own; we need God to guide and equip us with the graces needed to die to our selfishness.
“Selfishness is the enemy of love.”
Bishop Fulton Sheen
I agree.
Marriage is not about the individual, which is a hard lesson to practice, especially in a culture where the individual is king.
Marriage is the sign instituted by God and an antidote to the epidemic of self. This is why Satan works so hard to destroy it.
“To love is to will the good of the other,” writes St. Thomas Aquinas. In marriage, it takes patience to discover this timeless truth. Leaving is never an answer.
Love never quits on each other; it digs in and faces the storms together.
When I tried to weather storms alone, my efforts were futile. When we faced them together as a couple, we managed better. But with God, they dissipated.
No storm is bigger than God. Remember that.
Looking back, we began to understand the inestimable value of the difficulties and suffering in marriage. “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” (Niche)
It is a diabolical lie that this life is a paradise in itself. It’s only the journey, and marriage is one of the means God uses to prove and refine us, reminding us of how inadequate we are without Him.
The most arduous and painful times in our marriage were the most beneficial to our growth in holiness and love.
Thank you, Father, for giving me Mark, who perfectly suits me. Together with you, we have conquered mountains.
While we had no idea what to expect after we said, “I do.” You, Lord, have taken us on a journey of a lifetime and bequeathed us immeasurable joy.
Thank you, Lord, for dreaming us into existence, refining us, and preparing us for eternity with you.
I am right there with you.
Thanking God to give me Ray as a husband. Us to have conquer lots and want to continue to conquer.
I thank God for all my blessing and
May God continue to bless us all .
Thsnk you for sharing. I live reading your stuff.
Gisele