We had only been married a few months and lived in a third-world country under martial law. It was a great beginning for us to learn what we were made of, capable of, and willing to do for love. When the time arrived near our first Christmas, I wanted to bake something that would remind us of home; however, I did not have any measuring cups. Craving dessert and risking humiliation, I decided it was worth exposing my ignorance and ventured to query my new husband. I held up a coffee cup and innocently asked, “What’s bigger, a third or a half?” (Okay, before you get all mathy on me, you weren’t there). My darling looked up from what he was doing and answered, “If I had a pie…” Now, now, no one likes to be schooled by their spouse, so it is understandable that I quickly cut him off, telling him what he could do with his pie. Oh, and by the way, he wouldn’t be getting any of the ones I was making, either.

The man is brilliant when it comes to numbers; I am not.

I learned over time that I didn’t need a calculator when we shopped; he could tell me the actual price of something that was 45% off in the blink of an eye. I could take a stab at it, but why exhaust my brain. Most times, he was faster than the cash register. As a teen, our oldest son could do the same thing, calling out the adjusted price to me across the store.

I fondly remember when we were shopping at Walmart some thirty years ago, trying to stretch money for the seven of us. It was checkout time, and he had his coupons ready to go. After handing them to the small Jamaican woman behind the counter, she applied them to our bill. She stepped back, her mouth dropped open; she stared at him in awe, saying, “You da coupon king.” There has never been a title that meant more to him other than Faja. (which means dad in whatever language or movie reference our sons use for him) I am called Mudder for some bizarre reason.

We are both officially retired and spending more time together than we have for forty-four years. Ask any retired couple; it takes time to get used to that much togetherness after decades of distractions. Once again, I am reminded how much he uses his little grey cells in every aspect of life. Why, just today, he was ‘splaining to me why, “it is better to purchase the smaller poundage of Brie cheese when it is on sale; because it’s cheaper per ounce that way, when it’s a flat price discount.” HUH? While he didn’t refer to the pie scenario, he devised a clever alternative to make his point that did not tax my shriveling grey matter.

He follows the world news and enlightens me when baking supplies will be taking a jump in price due to some unforeseen weather condition or processing hitch. “Butter is going up,” he says, “blah blah blah something about farmers and cows, oh and chocolate, (now he has my attention), is going to be more costly due to the drought, we better stock up.”

I must hand it to him; he is so thoughtful, worrying about little ol’ me not having enough ingredients to make spectacular desserts that he doesn’t eat anyway. Now, that is love.

It’s sad to say that the girls inherited mommies’ math genes. The boys did not. It’s something we giggle at when we get stuck on something requiring more than double-digit math. I’ll say this: for what I lack in math, I more than makeup in creativity. I created a catapult out of junk from the house that launched their physics assignments into the next neighborhood. I just couldn’t give you the math behind it. Frankly, not having the math gene frees up oodles of space for my brain to create. I would rather waste my time on that than calculus. I am grateful, however, for all the math brainiacs whose expertise we all benefit from.

Finding what complements you and your spouse is a valuable tool rather than wasting time on what he or she is lacking but you have in spades. You have been brought together by someone more significant than you, God. Each of you brings something beneficial to your marriage, family and society. Take the time to notice this aspect and point out how grateful you are for the gifts shared.

Our differences have served us well these almost forty-four years and strengthened our marriage. As we grow older and spend more time together, we discover each other anew. Mark’s fantastic math skills have helped our family tremendously, keeping the checkbook in the black, food on the table, and vacations to remember.

Now, the only pie we discuss is the one we enjoy together with a fork. Happy Anniversary baby, you are one of a kind!