It’s late, and the natives have finally crashed into dreamland. For a moment, it is completely quiet. Silence, sweet silence; except emanating from my bedroom, are thunderous snores piercing the stillness.

My exhausted spouse sleeps soundly, oblivious to the clamor. Sleep is futile for me, so I decided to write. This requires I stealthily extract my computer from its location in cadence to his breathing. Despite being as quiet as a mouse, he is startled awake.

You okay, he mumbles.

It is a mystery to me how the man can remain asleep while buzz-cutting the Nasal Forest, yet awaken to the slightest peep?

Our daughter’s family is staying with us for an extended period while they sell their home in Colorado.  Even though we have more than quadrupled the inhabitants in our small home, it is working out—I haven’t strangled anyone yet.

And a wonderful opportunity has been afforded me to grow in virtue. My patience gauge has moved off zero. Can we say, BONUS!

“Receive every trial, every annoyance, every lack of courtesy in the light that springs from the Cross;

that is how we please God, how we advance in the ways of love.”

Elizabeth of the Trinity  

The upside of this current arrangement is that we get more time with the grandkids: in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. It’s surprising how family relationships also benefit from the wedding vows.

Every unplanned housing in the past with our kids’ families due to floods, broken pipes, and moves became an unexpected gift.

How’s that?

All the little unexpected bumps which break into our comfort zones are a surprise party from God.

Look for the positive; trust God has a purpose.

Our grandkids are growing at the speed of light.

Psychological Today, featured an article on the influence grandparents can have on their grandchildren;

“Grandparents often can share their knowledge, wisdom, and family traditions with their grandchildren. Such early experiences strengthen a grandchild’s self-esteem and reinforce beliefs, norms, and values while creating opportunities to explore identity in the context of one’s family.”

One might suggest my grandma style is a mix of Mufasa and Betty Crocker. Order, rules, and practicing politeness—mixed in with lots of baked goodies.

What I’ve come to love about our big clan is their eagerness to help, especially when it comes to cooking or baking. It might have something to do with licking the bowl. They particularly love helping me in the parish coffee shop, interacting with customers, learning coffeehouse lingo, and taking orders.

Because we are short on volunteers, their willingness to step up helps them see the difference they are making by sharing their God-given talents. The parishioners love seeing the kids who competently take their orders and call out their beverages. We constantly hear positive feedback about involving youth.

Raising smart, faithful, hardworking, and polite children doesn’t take a village—it takes a family willing to love each other through all of life’s challenges. To love them even when you don’t recognize who they have become. I remember one of our sons tried out being “EMO” in high school for a couple of years. This otherwise happy, smart, and thoughtful kid was now hard to be around. I asked him once what had happened to the sweet boy we had raised, “He’s dead.”

I knew he was still in there somewhere despite the greasy, sullen disguise. So, I prayed harder and eagerly waited until the real boy came back. Being a teenager is difficult for every generation. Yet, grandparents can play a critical role in showing their young offspring who they are and to Whom they belong. There is no need to figure it out as if it is a mystery.

Parents and grandparents must be diligent in helping to prepare and equip their offspring for the battles to come by teaching them about the spiritual tools necessary to thwart the enemy of their souls. An unwavering commitment to God and the practice of faith is critical, first and foremost, by being good examples.

The enemy would like us to cave in when they claim boredom for not going to Mass or “not learning anything“, to get out of a retreat or classes, or worse, the old standby whine about “forcing religion on them.”
All lies.

I speak this truth from over a decade of youth ministry, and decades of parenting. Same old lies that put parents on the defense, often giving up the battle for their souls because of their unwillingness to fight the good fight. Continue to be faithful, leading them to the authentic heart of God, and the truth ingrained in their hearts.

Be destination focused. Heaven is the destination and God the prize. Children who are given this perspective can see that all the bumps and bruises serve a greater purpose and they are not easily made casualties of the culture.

The old ways are still effective, and grandma-and-grandpa love goes a long way to teach important lessons.